Fatso...... I hate you.

“leave me alone, I don’t wanna go to school, I want momy, I want to go home…..aaaaaaaaaa”, a screechingly loud voice disturbed the whole primary wing.
“ahh…… another new comer…… all are same….. even their crying dialogues won’t change, except that this one sounds exceptionally violent”, I whispered to Renuka, sitting next to me, as I took a break to sharp my pencil.
“shhhhh……keep writing, teacher had already stared you twice while you were talking”, she replied.
Ton! Ton! Ton!........ (period bell).
“Sourabh, come with me”, Miss Khemlata called me after a minute’s talk with Hari Bhaiya(peon) who came as the bell rang.
I followed her to the administrative office at the end of lobby…… exactly from where that stupid boy was shouting.
“your mother’s here, she wants to see you”, Miss Khemlata said as we entered the office.
“Take me back home….. I don’t want to study”, that painfully loud voice intensified as she opened the door.
That stupid boy was my younger brother….. it was his 2nd week in school…. And I knew why he was crying…… didn’t do his homework as I cajoled him in to playing with me all evening.
“Sourabh, please talk it out with your brother, he listens to you”, its kinda felt weird when mom have to call me by that name in front of school-staff/strangers. I am better known as Nikky at home.
“ hey fatso! Stop crying now…..”, I suck at dealing with crying people…… so didn’t had much to say.
“you know I haven’t done hindi homework, Khemlata madam will….”, sulking fatso replied in a lower tone.
“Don’t worry…… just go to your class”, I said…. feeling sorry for him as it was my fault.
“She is not going to kill you….. don’t be afraid and for god’s sake….. don’t cry, come I’ll take you to your classroom”, I said trying to calm him down.
“no, I won’t go there”, …. came the reply as he faced away from me.
“ how about I give you one rupee so you can buy an ice cream?”…. I said as I took out a 50 paisa coin from my pocket. Poor fatso,…. Still counts the money by number of coins and not their value, its easy to make a fool of him this way.
“Alright, take 2… and come with me now…”, I said regretfully as I gave him my pocket money for the day…….yes you calculated it right… one rupee.
“Mom, he’s ok now,….. give me his schoolbag….. I will take him to his classroom”
“Ohk, Aakash(fatso)….come here…… take this and be a good boy like your brother…. Ok?”, mom said as she gave him a chocolate.
Okhay, so he gets my pocket money and a chocolate and I get just a sweet tag (good boy)……. God I hate him.
“Bye mom”, I said as we proceeded towards the classroom.
“leave my hand now…… that’s your class….. go and eat your stupid chocolate….huh!”.
“I don’t want to go there, ….she’s cruel…..she will kill me”, fatso replied as he saw Miss Khemlata and broke into tears once again.
“Just go to your classroom……I am not momy who would pamper you…… this is too much, ..i don’t want to listen anything now….. my teacher will come any minute now”, I replied in a firm voice.
I left him in front of Nursery class and started walking towards my classroom when I heard those words for the first time in my life that makes you realize that you are the elder one……………..
“Bhaiya…..bhaiya ……… don’t leave me alone…….. “, fatso cried out loud,….. loud enough so that everyone in a radius of 10 meters could hear him clearly,...... making me feel more ashamed.
Although I loved to see him crying,…… even would do things to make him cry…… but it felt different at that moment. When someone cries taking your name… you just can’t ignore them…… I had to do something.
“Alright come with me”
“where…….home? “, he replied as he wiped his face.
“No stupid…… just follow me….. ”, I took him to my classroom full of students busy in different annoying activities….. no one noticed fatso.
“Isn’t that your brother?..... what is he doing here?”, Renuka said as I sat by her side.
……………………CLASS STAND!!....... GOOD MORNING MA’AM!!!......(background).
“oh my god, Miss Sudha is here …… Renuka just help me…. I will explain it to you later…… fatso hide urself under the bench…. fast”, I said as a sharp wave of fear went through me.
“Take out your Mental Maths book, today we are going to do chapter number……”, Sudha ma’am continued in her typical high pitch voice.
“Fatso!..... stop fiddling with chocolate wrapper… you are making lots of noise.. “, I said as slowly as I could & snatched the wrapper.
“Who is talking? Sourabh …. Stand up….. whats in your hand? “, Miss Sudha shouted …. Her voice getting tougher.
“It’s …. It’s a pencil ma’am”
“I’m talking about your left hand”
I surrendered the wrapper coz otherwise she would have to come and check me, only to find fatso.
“You were eating chocolate in the class……. Stand up on the bench….. now!!”
The classes continued normally for rest of the time accept the lunch period when most of the students and specially that stupid girl, Parul, came to know about fatso….. she could do any damn thing to get me into trouble after I caught her red handed, stealing pencils a few days back.
I was more worried as the next class was of Miss Khemlata, whom almost all the students thought of as the originator of all kind of brutalities in this world…………… she always had new, innovative and excruciating ways of punishing students found guilty of any kind, maybe I too qualified her criteria for defining guilty as well after keeping fatso with me all day.
“Keep your homework notebooks on your desks, those who haven’t done their homeworks can go and stand facing that wall, will deal with you after the class….”, Miss Khemlata interrupted as we wished her Good afternoon.
Luckily, Parul did not complaint against me that day and class went on smoothly……….
“How could you say ‘you don’t know’……”
“Ma’am your son did not come to class….. no body saw him here…. Even the class teacher didn’t see him”
“ ….. Miss Khemlata was here when I left him with his brother……….” a discussion between Vice principal and a lady who sounded like mom got clearer as they approached towards my class.
“Mom?......what are you doing here…..?”, I said, not much surprised to see her as I knew Nursery classes got off just after the lunch period.
“Sourabh, where’s your brother?… tell me fast…. I left him with you……. Where is he? ”, she asked……. pretending to be ok, which she definitely wasn’t…… atleast that was what I could figure out of her changed accent.
“ fatso is with me momy, he refused to go to his classroom… so I bought him here”
“What?....... Do you realize how worried I was……… Don’t ever do this again”, she said with a hint of relaxation in her tone this time.
“ I was just ……. And then he called me bhaiya……… I couldn’t just leave him there all crying…….sorry momy……” I said before breaking into tears for reasons still unknown to me.
“How did I not see him …… he was there with you in class??.....”, Miss Khemlata said and we all broke into a big laugh!!!!!

One fine morning.....

“Wake up! Wake up! …you have to go to receive your friend from new delhi station, its already 6:00 am”, mom shouts .
“What does she mean ‘already’?, I always start my day at 11’o clock with a fall on the floor from bed”..yeah,….my mom doesn’t have a choice but to do that every morning since last 10 days when my summer holidays started.
“who friend,….?”
tring tring!!! “hello”
“hi Sourabh, my train will reach the station at 8, you on your way or not?”…..Kartik.
“oh, I will be there…..dun worry”
(Delhi locals are much better than the Mumbai one’s,….the only thing that holds them back is……the frequency)
I somehow managed to catch the 7am local, and the train takes a half an hour rest at H.Nizammudin Station……..
The train is already filled with commuters and I always wonder how is there always space for more people to come in….as if there is infinite space in the boogie…..someone could actually do a research on this topic,……neways…….
A family enters through the gate opposite to the one I am standing at………..they seem to be on a holiday journey…..three elder members, one kid & lots of luggage.
…and then she enters the boogie. Well let’s call her she for the time being. We shared a sigh for a second & then I reverted back to 98.3FM…..it’s hot ;). After everyone settled at their achieved places, she came and stood in front of me…gave me a hi look …..I replied with a smile. The virtual conversation went on until her younger cousin interrupted,
“Bharti Di, why are you standing alone, join us”
“It’s ok, I just need some fresh air”, she replied.
Now that’s how I know her name is Bharti, but what gave me an idea about she being from indore is still unknown to me. May be my subconscious mind was doing its work who doesn’t tell me much about its activities…….just gives me the inferences.
‘ Alright dude, that’s it. This is your chance…….show your charm….start off the conversation….there’s nothing in saying a hi ….or may be there is ……what if things are not like what you think?......but she passed a smile….and seems interested….’, the optimist and the pessimist me argue with each other. Well there’s nothing wrong in this…its just that they are equally assertive that creates the problem. Just when the optimist me was about to win the argument, a heavy voice interrupted the fight…..
“Can you please shift a bit more”
“Ofcourse”, I replied, relieved as the opti & pessi me disappeared…..no more mental stress….after all it was me vs me…
She passed a smile to that heavy voice guy as well…….does she smile to anybody?.....that guy was a man…..of the age of her father….. wait a minute…..may be he is……..and yes I was right.
Now that her father was standing by my side,….leaning half his weight on my shoulder…..I was grounded.
tring tring!!!.......”hello?”
“hi bhaiya..where are you…..mom’s asking”, ………& this was when a brilliant idea struck my mind.
“hey hi…..how are you….long time no see?”
“what?....you were with me an hour ago..”
“ohk…take down my personal number….its 9838738452……hello?..shud I repeat?....its 98387….”,….. I deliberately voiced out my number loudly…hoping she would notice.
“have you gone crazy…m already calling you on this number and what the hell is going on?”
“Hey, there’s a network problem…..i can’t hear you clearly…. Call me on that number…..bye”
The virtual conversation resumed after a while when her father went back to resolve the child fight that was disturbing me from last 10 minutes.
There was something different with this girl….every time we had an eye contact…..time slowed down…heart beats intensified……plus the song on Radio mirchi…
“tum mile…..dil khile….aur jeene ko kya chahiye…....”
..being perfect for the situation added to the titillating feeling. And suddenly her hand slipped over mine as she tried to grab the bar that stood between us when the train moved with a jerk. A current ran through my body from bottom to top…..
“itni haseen…koi nahi……husn dono jaha ka ek tujh mein simat ke aaya…
Tum mile….dil khile…..”
I knew it for sure that she felt the same way as I did……it was the next inference of my subconscious mind, I suppose.
A lot of commuters left as the train stopped on next two stops……train stopped in the middle of nowhere just before New Delhi Railway station……..thanx to lalu prashad for such helping services…. ;)
I grabbed every chance to look into her eyes ……..those intensified heart beats does feel good. I noticed a change in her stare…………. caught her twice looking at questionable places on my body, seriously guys…. I can understand how girls feel when guys do so. She would grab that bar exactly at the place where I did …… sort of hand touching game carried on as the train cruised through the rest of the distance to NDLS.
As the train stopped, … I ran out and waited on the bridge in front of the stairs……. I was confident that she would definitely look for a chance to talk to me…… after all her family members passed by my side……. She came on the bridge, stood there for a while…….. yeah she waited for me to come……. we saw each other, gave a relieved look,…..as I approached her that heavy voice followed her…
“ Bharti beta,…..what are you waiting for…….come on lets go..”
.tring tring!!...”hello?”
“Sourabh, where are you……I am on platform no. 8….”
“I’ll be there in a minute……….be near by the stairs….”
“Hi buddy,….welcome to delhi……. ;) …how was your journey, where did you get that weird hairstyle from by the way?”….. I asked while lifting kartik’s baggage.
“Ah, dun ask …bad hair days goin on…… journey was ok….. u tell……how was your journey?....”
“………it was awesome man……. I’ll tell you on the way back to home……there’s too much to tell….. ”, I said excitedly……..



\\ I never got a call from Bharti\\

The one with dumb student

Its 9:45 in the morning and we are here in mechatronix lab...Operation Research's lecture.....poff P Bhardwaj enters after all eight of us have positioned ourselves in the chairs.

"He is a cool proff",I said, introducing him to Vijay who came back from training this weekend missing all the classes of last week.

"All right, but I m famished, man I wish I could miss this class", he replied as he chooses one notebook from his bag.

"lets continue the problem we did in last class, lets say there's 0.2 probability that there's is oil in the land...."proff Bhardwaj continues as he reached the board.

"Nikki, there's a girl...11th standard, what do you think", mom said as I came back after my studies.

...does she want me to meet her...i mean i m only 18,.....may be 18 is enough....."what do you mean?"..i replied in hesitation.

"wants to study physics and maths, you know daddy cant teach 11th standard maths."

"Oh cool,...ask her to come from tommorow, may be this would help me pass my time..specially if you are a dropper.

"Your new student is here son,...shall i send her to your room.."

"yeah its ok....."
and there she is...sitting in my room.......ummmm...very quite...... and beautiful....and she smells wierd not in a bad sense....but then too.

"so, where shall we start from...physics?.....newton's laws of motion?"

mass into acceleration equals force!!!!

"whats acceleration, sir?"

"rate of change of velocity...."

"whats velocity?"

..is she really this dumb,....or not interested in studies....?

"rate of change of distance.....sry displacement"

"Oh..thats all so confusing..thats why i hate physics...you have to mug up so many things"

" you dont have to....its all common sense"

"Alright, I 'll try......I've this doubt...my school teacher could not solve this problem"

i solved that question in 20 mins.....although it was a real pain in ass....i mean lengthy....i was proud of myslef!!!!

next half an hour i explained her the question........."i'll explain the answer next time...time's up".....dats what daddy told me...not to exceed time limit while taking tutions......being proffessional ;).


"so the final Expected Value of Experimentation coms out to be53!.......sourabh ....did you get this value?"

"ye..yes sir"..i nodded as i came out my lucid dream.